Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You can't just leave with hair like that
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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