just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
