I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
