Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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