ya dads aren't the best wingmen
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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