I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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