there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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