see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
My balls are so social today.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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