I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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