chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
