i was born a porn star she said
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
