i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
