when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
