I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
