I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
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when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
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It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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