Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
