real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
