omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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