I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
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Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
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I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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