i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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