member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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