is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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