I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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