I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
