I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
