im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
