i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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