Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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