A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
