you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
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Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
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I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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