I'm really into asian looking animals
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
