There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
