They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
