No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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