I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
