belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
