The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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