This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
