she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize