Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
