Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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