Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
