hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
