My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
