then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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