I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
