I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
