just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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