How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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