Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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