Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
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I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
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I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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