Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
