New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
