What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Randomize
