Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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