What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize