i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
