How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
My pussy is not your playground.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
