You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
