I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
