I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize