All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
