How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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