If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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