the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
